Bobbie Dooley

From Hendriepedia

Roberta "Bobbie" Dooley is President of the homeowners association at Western Estates. She is also PTO president. Her full name is Roberta Dumphy Dooley. She lives with her husband Steve, and their two sons, Seth and Justin. Bobbie's son Dylan was tragically killed in a car accident.

Bobbie graduated from USC, where she met her husband. She has variously described herself as being in the "Top 5" or "Top" of her graduating class. She was President of the USC "Yell Team".

Bobbie often struggles with race issues. A common plotline in her appearances is an attempt on her part to show special concern for a race or group of people in a way that reveals an underlying bigotry on her part that she will strenuously deny. For instance, she thinks that African-Americans are extremely formal and always go by their formal names, while European-Americans are casual. As a result, in order to promote Martin Luther King Jr. Day at Western Estates, she renamed it "Marty King's Birthday". She is also very suspicious of Japanese influences in the cultural items her sons observe, particularly the "japanimation" cartoons they watch. However, she has also remarked "there isn't a racist bone in my body."

Bobbie once had to fire her hispanic maid. Bobbie had gotten her nails done, and they were still wet when she used the toilet. Rather than ruin her nails, she asked her maid to come in and wipe her rear end so she could change into a $2000 gown for a charity function. When she refused, Bobbie fired her without severance pay because that's standard for "those people."

Notable Bits

Ballsack Paddlewhack

Bobbie Dooley was on to tell Phil about Steve's erection problem. Apparently just the very thought that Bill Clinton (who was 52 at the time) could give it very good to Monica Lewinsky (a 25 year old at the time) makes him soft. Steve got very jealous when Monica gave explict details of Bill Clinton's verility.

Bobbie invented "The Paddle." It's basically 4 ping pong paddles attached to a shoe buffer. When she turns it on the paddles go around and around hitting Steve's testicles. Bobbie says, "They give him a nice little flick", which arouses him. The morning after the interview she tried to relax Steve and make him hard again by using "The Paddle" but it didn't work. She even tried to offer him a "Backstage Pass" (A.K.A. the other way), but that didn't work either.

At the end of the bit Bobbie demonstrates how "The Paddle" works on Steve. She turns it on and Steve moans and aches in ecstacy. She slows it down and Steve continously says "Ow" and "Oh boy!". This causes him to get an erection. When Phil talks to Bobbie, Steve immediatly begins to lose his erection. Bobbie turns on the machine again which quickly regains his erection; he then continously says "Crank it". In desperation Steve says to crank it all the way to "Patent Pending". Then they turn up the machine to "11" which they haven't done before. In turning it up to "11" it caused Steve to bleed which got all over the rug.

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• 1997-12-10 - College Sex Ad
• 1998-01-02 - Limiting Cigarette Sales
• 1998-04-05 - Against Succession from Los Angeles
• 1998-04-05 - More Fun With A Casio
• 1998-05-21 - Families Against Violence
• 1998-06-05 - Lay Off Disney
• 1998-06-10 - Son Rejects Her
• 1998-06-12 - Internet Birth
• 1998-06-24 - Cheap Mexican Labor
• 1998-09-30 - Halloween Gala (Dumps Fat Friend)
• 1998-10-15 - Leaving Children At Rest Area's
• 1998-10-23 - Halloween Party
• 1998-11-02 - Thomas Jefferson the Rapist
• 1998-11-20 - Pro Life Thanksgiving
• 1998-11-30 - Tacky Icicle Lights
• 1998-12-07 - Sit Down
• 1999-01-06 - Christmas Tree Disposal
• 1999-01-22 - Losing The Presidency
• 1999-02-02 - Brendon Is Growing Up
• 1999-03-04 - Ball Sack Paddle Whack
• 1999-03-22 - Karl & Andrew Show
• 1999-04-05 - Dangers Of The Internet
• 1999-04-20 - The Day Of Columbine
• 1999-05-21 - Tom Selleck and The NRA
• 1999-06-09 - Fat Little Girls
• 1999-06-16 - Choking, Fisting, & Acid Flashbacks
• 1999-06-18 - Animal Takeover (Shoot and Poison Animals)
• 1999-06-18 - Son in Trouble
• 1999-06-XX - Women of the Century
• 1999-07-01 - Battle Of The Dooleys
• 1999-07-01 - Domestic Violence And Rough Sex
• 1999-07-30 - Pressure On Husbands
• 1999-08-16 - No Ralphing
• 1999-08-26 - An American In Paris
• 1999-09-13 - Sperm Donor
• 1999-09-21 - No Barbecuing At Western Estates
• 1999-10-05 - Raising Funds For Neighbor's Vasectomy
• 1999-10-13 - Uncultured Neighbors
• 1999-10-20 - Germany Travel Tips
• 1999-10-28 - Suicidal Mother
• 1999-11-08 - High School Reunion
• 1999-11-17 - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (1st Bit)
• 1999-11-19 - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (2nd Bit)
• 1999-12-07 - Kissing Her Son In Public
• 1999-12-13 - Kwanza Party
• 1999-12-22 - Allowance
• 1999-12-29 - Y2K Panic
• 2000-01-10 - Normal Website A.K.A. Piledriver
• 2000-01-25 - Superbowl Gala
• 2000-01-31 - Dinner Party Expert
• 2000-02-07 - Signature Hairdo & Seduction
• 2000-03-03 - Steve Cheating (2nd e-mail account)
• 2000-03-10 - Cat Sex
• 2000-03-31 - Son Caught Homosexuality
• 2000-04-06 - Slapped By Steve
• 2000-04-13 - Fat Workout Partner
• 2000-04-20 - No Handicapped Ramps
• 2000-04-28 - Pre-Dawn Raid
• 2000-05-04 - I Love You Virus
• 2000-05-12 - Gun Safety
• 2000-05-17 - Bobbie Gets Sued For Playing Crusades (with Harvey Wireman)
• 2000-05-22 - Smothering Her Kids
• 2000-05-30 - Overweight Kids & Chocolate Milk
• 2000-06-05 - Smelly Grandparents
• 2000-06-13 - Family Portrait & Vietnam Flashback
• 2000-06-29 - Rape Defense Techniques
• 2000-07-10 - Bitch Slap Festival
• 2000-07-17 - Blind Athletes
• 2000-07-24 - Hitler’s Brown Shirts
• 2000-08-03 - Republican Convention
• 2000-08-10 - Child Looks Like Yoda
• 2000-08-29 - Screening Potential Residents
• 2000-09-12 - Makes A Crippled Man Walk
• 2000-09-19 - Baptizing Jewish Child
• 2000-09-25 - Sofa
• 2000-10-02 - Black TV Shows
• 2000-10-11 - Half Goblins And Weber Cauldrons
• 2000-10-19 - Baseball Is Dead
• 2000-10-27 - Lying Neighbor
• 2000-11-01 - Razor Scooters
• 2000-11-07 - Election Night 2000
• 2000-11-14 - Gift Giving (with David G Hall)
• 2000-11-15 - No Thank You Note
• 2000-11-21 - Depression (Falltacular)
• 2000-11-27 - Nativity Scene
• 2001-01-03 - Janice And Bad Cosmetics
• 2001-01-08 - Dare To Hire A Maid
• 2001-01-16 - Texas Barbecue
• 2001-01-24 - Western Estates Cruise
• 2001-01-30 - Wall Of Baby Pictures
• 2001-02-14 - Sleepover Rules
• 2001-02-19 - Redecorates Janice's Home
• 2001-02-20 - It Was My Duty
• 2001-02-26 - Crusty Squack
• 2001-03-07 - Kids & Guns
• 2001-03-14 - Bully Son
• 2001-03-15 - The Best Of Bobbie Dooley
• 2001-03-21 - Rolling Blackouts
• 2001-03-28 - Jesus Was Black
• 2001-04-02 - Western Estates Ceremony
• 2001-04-10 - Ass Wipe
• 2001-04-17 - Stop Talking About Cine
• 2001-04-24 - Lincoln Navigator
• 2001-05-01 - Tanning
• 2001-05-09 - Energy Crisis
• 2001-05-15 - Soccer Riots
• 2001-05-23 - Homosexual Porn
• 2001-05-31 - Public Groping
• 2001-06-12 - Campaign For Human Dignity
• 2001-06-19 - The Dooley Boys
• 2001-07-09 - Parents Losing Children
• 2001-07-13 - Bobbie, Bud & David Uplifting Email
• 2001-07-16 - Satellite Dishes Mandatory
• 2001-07-23 - Neighbor's Son
• 2001-08-02 - Cloneoids
• 2001-08-09 - Stem Cell Research And You
• 2001-08-23 - School Uniform
• 2001-08-29 - Taken From The Now
• 2001-09-05 - Western Estates Greeting
• 2001-09-10 - The Japs
• 2001-09-24 - Be More Patriotic
• 2001-10-02 - Emergency Supplies
• 2001-10-11 - Gas Mask Panic
• 2001-10-16 - Flag Regulations
• 2001-10-26 - Biohazard Shelter
• 2001-11-01 - Wearing Surgical Masks (Anthrax Scare)
• 2001-11-06 - Shoot The Pool Man
• 2001-11-13 - Harry Potter Mania
• 2001-11-21 - Turkey Baster
• 2001-11-28 - Ugly Missionaries
• 2001-12-05 - Uterine Cancer
• 2001-12-12 - John Walker
• 2001-12-18 - Relative of Emilia Earhart
• 2001-12-21 - Britney Spears & Liquid Butter
• 2002-01-02 - Dick Clark Watching Losers
• 2002-01-08 - Violence in Youth Sports
• 2002-01-15 - Marty King Day
• 2002-01-29 - Enron
• 2002-02-07 - Sick of Erin Brockovich
• 2002-02-08 - Rapist Son
• 2002-02-14 - Special Favors To Youth Sports Officials
• 2002-02-21 - Black Wins Gold in Bobsledding
• 2002-03-01 - Stuffed Muffin
• 2002-03-07 - Rates Erin Brokovich
• 2002-03-19 - Back From Tahiti
• 2002-03-25 - Will Smith Oscar Walkout
• 2002-04-09 - Used Car Molestation
• 2002-04-16 - Janice's Disgusting Husband
• 2002-04-22 - Picketing Catholic Church
• 2002-05-02 - Fame For Abuse
• 2002-05-09 - Luke Helder Jury
• 2002-05-16 - The Grad Party
• 2002-05-28 - Honoring Chandra Levy
• 2002-06-04 - Peer Pressure
• 2002-06-06 - Mothers Against Peer-Pressure
• 2002-06-12 - Eating Fruit In A Homo Way
• 2002-06-18 - Mock Kidnappings
• 2002-06-24 - Fat People Can’t Sunbathe
• 2002-07-09 - No Air Conditioning
• 2002-07-16 - 2 Fingers To Thinner Thighs (Gary Shandling)
• 2002-08-02 - Media Coverage of Child Abductions
• 2002-08-13 - 911, Get Over It
• 2002-08-21 - Westerfield Trial Vacation
• 2002-08-22 - Makes Statement at Cathedral
• 2002-08-27 - Princess Di
• 2002-09-03 - Lawn Furniture
• 2002-09-10 - Bogus Orange Alert
• 2002-09-20 - 3 R's Of Parenting
• 2002-09-27 - Shredding Deaf Old Ladies
• 2002-10-02 - Battered Donations
• 2002-10-09 - Seth Goes Gay
• 2002-10-15 - Stop The Sniper Cover Up
• 2002-10-28 - Jackass Education
• 2002-10-31 - Bobbie Calls Dr. Laura
• 2002-11-04 - New Resident Card
• 2002-11-13 - Weight Loss Reintegration
• 2002-11-19 - Evicting Ryan And Stu
• 2002-11-26 - Thanksgiving Marathon Preview
• 2002-12-02 - Sick On Cruises
• 2002-12-11 - Holiday Party Etiquette
• 2002-12-17 - No Racism In California
• 2002-12-20 - A Christmas Carol Revised
• 2003-01-03 - Westerfield Should Not Die
• 2003-01-06 - Xmas Lights Out
• 2003-01-10 - Get Rid of the SUV (with David G. Hall)
• 2003-01-24 - Give the Superbowl Back to Men
• 2003-02-04 - Shuttle Sex Seminars
• 2003-02-14 - Teen Sweethearts Barbecue
• 2003-02-17 - Suburban Mothers for Peace
• 2003-02-18 - Telling Off Phil on France
• 2003-02-27 - Emergency Food Stores
• 2003-03-04 - Dylan Is Dead
• 2003-03-11 - Mothers Against The Iraqi War
• 2003-04-02 - Not My SUV
• 2003-04-04 - The Silent Heroes
• 2003-04-18 - Dylan's Last Formal
• 2003-04-23 - Yellow Ribbons VS Dirty Underwear
• 2003-04-24 - Out of Season Decorations
• 2003-05-08 - Debutante Ball
• 2003-05-12 - Pearls Before NBC Swine
• 2003-05-27 - Who Died And Left You In Charge
• 2003-05-28 - Bruce Almighty Warning (God isn't black)
• 2003-05-29 - We Aren't Mint Racists
• 2003-06-05 - Playground Of The Apes
• 2003-06-12 - Where Couples Meet
• 2003-06-30 - Supreme Court Sodomy
• 2003-07-11 - The Silent Suffering
• 2003-07-24 - Kobe's 4 Million Dollar Ring
• 2003-08-05 - Why Kids Love Kobe
• 2003-08-22 - Vote For Arnold
• 2003-08-29 - My Heart Will Go On
• 2003-09-03 - Stop Harassing The Coaches
• 2003-09-10 - Parental Background Checks
• 2003-09-24 - Seth Asks A Democrat Out
• 2003-10-08 - We Support Kobe
• 2003-10-20 - Weak People And Painkillers
• 2003-10-28 - Firefighters Are Overrated
• 2003-11-06 - Join The Military, To Get Raped!
• 2003-11-12 - Xmas Lights And Molestation
• 2003-11-13 - You Know I've Got a Great Ass
• 2003-11-18 - Mandatory Gun Ownership
• 2003-12-02 - Aggressive Thanksgiving Shopping
• 2003-12-08 - Parents Against Campus Violence
• 2003-12-16 - No Thanks From Homeowners
• 2004-01-09 - Skipping Boot Camp
• 2004-01-14 - Empower The Children
• 2004-01-29 - No Gimps Allowed
• 2004-02-03 - My Son Just Pulled A Justin
• 2004-02-05 - Wintertacular At Western Estates
• 2004-02-17 - Parenting Tips
• 2004-03-01 - The Passion Of The Christ
• 2004-03-05 - Martha Stewart Conviction (Live In Aspen)
• 2004-03-18 - Minority Population Growing
• 2004-03-26 - The Great Neighbor Initiative
• 2004-04-06 - Mothers For The Mentally Challenged
• 2004-04-21 - Loving The SUV
• 2004-04-30 - Prom Night
• 2004-05-13 - Don't Watch The Nick Berg Video
• 2004-05-24 - The Golden Retrievers
• 2004-05-26 - Michael Moore is Disgusting
• 2004-06-02 - Seth Is Moving Out
• 2004-06-24 - Dylan's Death Revisited
• 2004-07-01 - Why Do Couples Divorce
• 2004-07-07 - 5th Annual Summertacular
• 2004-07-27 - Carded
• 2004-08-05 - Intimacy Of Married Couples
• 2004-08-12 - Down With Queer Gay
• 2004-08-25 - Wind Beneath Her Wings
• 2004-08-26 - The Pan Faced Boy
• 2004-09-01 - Republican Convention Reaction
• 2004-09-02 - President Bush Speech
• 2004-09-09 - Girls Underwear
• 2004-09-21 - Ms. America Pageant (with Bud and Phil)
• 2004-09-23 - Magazine Subscriptions
• 2004-09-29 - Thoughts On The Debate
• 2004-09-30 - Bush Was Drunk
• 2004-10-05 - Pan Faced Soldiers
• 2004-10-07 - Flu Vaccine Shortage
• 2004-10-13 - Thoughts On The Last Debate
• 2004-10-14 - Inspired By Lesbian Remarks
• 2004-10-20 - Steve, Chili And Baseball
• 2004-10-21 - Halloween Farm Erotica
• 2004-10-28 - Election Or Falltacular
• 2004-11-03 - Show Preview
• 2004-11-04 - Let's Start A Riot
• 2004-11-10 - The Pope's Hat
• 2004-11-17 - No Seniors During Thanksgiving
• 2004-12-15 - Western Estates Social Mixer
• 2005-01-05 - Thai Wintertacular
• 2005-01-14 - Seth Dresses Up For MLK Day
• 2005-02-03 - The Breast Bushes
• 2005-02-09 - Small Talk With Phil
• 2005-02-10 - What About My Hemorrhoids
• 2005-02-24 - Character Introduction
• 2005-03-01 - School Fundraiser
• 2005-03-29 - Save Terri Schiavo
• 2005-04-13 - The Rude Joke
• 2005-05-02 - The Springtacular Is Delayed
• 2005-05-12 - The Playboy Shave
• 2005-06-03 - I Was Yvonne Elliman
• 2005-06-03 - The Wedding Planner
• 2005-06-07 - Seth Is Graduating
• 2005-06-14 - F-Off!
• 2005-06-27 - Time Out's In The Trunk
• 2005-07-18 - Constitutional Rights Of Homeowners
• 2005-07-28 - Dusting
• 2005-08-02 - The Dove Ad's
• 2005-08-03 - Comments On Spanish E-mail
• 2005-08-19 - Mothers With Answers
• 2005-08-25 - The Bobbie Dooley Blog
• 2005-08-29 - Labor Day & Blog Promo
• 2005-10-12 - Son Caught with Black PrOn
• 2005-11-02 - Check Out My Stuff, I’m Hot
• 2005-11-09 - Goth Kids
• 2005-11-11 - Death Threat Emails
• 2005-11-17 - Our Relatives are Nazi's and Everything
• 2005-12-12 - Toys for OUR Tot's
• 2006-01-06 - Pull My Finger Again
• 2006-01-09 - Red Wine Loser
• 2006-01-10 - Reusing Ted’s Jingle
• 2006-01-12 - Sex Tape Preview
• 2006-01-16 - Repainted Vacationing Neighbors Home
• 2006-01-27 - Steals Neighbors Pedigree Cat
• 2006-02-10 - Beautifying Justin’s Girlfriend
• 2006-03-02 - Character Gear Plug Night
• 2006-03-14 - Sleeping With the Enemy
• 2006-03-22 - Bulldozing the Library for a Dream Home
• 2006-03-30 - Colon Cancer Shock Jock
• 2006-04-11 - Teacher Bribes Best
• 2006-04-18 - Chat Room Cannibals
• 2006-05-02 - Brother Dearest
• 2006-05-04 - The Rashbrook Baby
• 2006-05-15 - Jack Russell From Hell
• 2006-05-23 - No Nigger Babies Please
• 2006-05-30 - Dealing With A Milf
• 2006-06-13 - High School Hooker Party
• 2007-06-29 - Ikea London Bombing
• 2007-07-02 - Code Pink
• 2007-07-09 - Angels on Our Shoulders
• 2007-07-13 - Children Without Boundaries
• 2007-08-10 - Atrocities Unveiled Iraq
• 2007-08-21 - Full Face Anchorwoman
• 2007-08-24 - Astro Diapers
• 2007-09-10 - Angels On Our Shoulders
• 2007-09-27 - The Whore Pride Parade
• 2007-10-04 - No American Flags
• 2007-10-16 - Kate McCann Update
• 2007-10-30 - The Attitude Of Gratitude (with Lloyd)
• 2007-11-09 - The Dangers of Teenage Sess
• 2007-11-21 - Thanksgiving Turkey Abuse
• 2007-11-29 - Myspace Sluts
• 2007-12-05 - Victoria Secret's Sweatshops
• 2007-12-21 - Donating Bad Toys
• 2007-12-26 - The Election Debate (with Margaret)
• 2008-01-01 - Toys for Tots
• 2008-01-04 - Long-Finger Huckabee (Roundtable Discussion)
• 2008-01-15 - Kid in a Bag
• 2008-01-18 - The Woman-Raping Lizard
• 2008-01-22 - Mitt Romney is Bruce Wayne
• 2008-01-28 - Cheap Filipina Maid
• 2008-02-21 - Prada Store Rage
• 2008-02-27 - The Difference of Attraction
• 2008-03-04 - Shock of the Oil
• 2008-07-29 - Angels on Our Shoulders against Imus and Savage
• 2008-08-13 - Summertacular & Chinese Olympic Girls
• 2008-08-26 - State Farm Fire Insurance
• 2008-09-03 - Palin is a Secret Weapon
• 2008-09-11 - The Lipstick Liberals
• 2008-09-15 - Amy Goodman Interview
• 2008-11-18 - Reparative Heterosexual Outreach
• 2008-11-24 - Victimized At A Chicken Outlet
• 2008-11-25 - The World According To…
• 2009-02-06 - Sully
• 2009-03-24 - Who Died?
• 2009-10-13 - Obama Tattoo
• 2009-10-26 - Gollum Girl (Swine Flu Shot)
• 2009-11-06 - Fort Hood Massacre Ruining Falltacular
• 2009-11-13 - Chimponzee-Face on DVD (Plea to Oprah)
• 2009-11-19 - Cosmetic Surgery Taxes
• 2009-12-02 - Obama's War Strategy

Quotes

• Mmmm-hmmm.... (repeatedly - and loudly - said while a caller speaks, much to their chagrin)
• Are you for real?
• It's going to take a pretty significant pair to sue me!
• Sweet Christ on a sled!
• Sweet Christ in a carseat!
• Phil, this is character assasination.
• You can go straight to the living hell.
• Phil, children are getting chopped uuuuup.
• Do your daughters wax? Do they Playboy wax?
• If you were here, you wouldn't have any eyes left.
• (to her friend) See, you can look thin even though you're not.
• (arguing with a caller) No, you're a liar. Liar. I hate you so deeply.
• I'm very hip, I'm very "now". I get it- I'm "with it", the kids think I'm cool.
• I'll tell you what, when you're me, you give me a call. Until then, you're not me.
• If my uncle had wheels and pedals, he’d be a bicycle. We really can’t engage in "if"s.
• (referring to her friend's hairy children) Phil, it looked like Playground of the Apes.
• Honey, try wearing a thong. Then you don't have to worry about all those panty lines.
• My father worked in the circus. He was a circus clown. And my mother was a prostitute.
• Oh, you're sitting there staring at your cheaply manicured nails in your Ford Taurus...
• How are you going to feel when your daughter's hair is being used to stuff some pervert's pillow?
• You know what you look like to me with your good bag and your bad shoes? You look like a ruuube.
• You don’t park a group of retards near a road and expect them not to be nailed by a flying Dodge Durango.
• I told her to sit down and shut her mouth. Phil, she's my best friend and I feel I can be direct with her.
• Its almost like walking up to Adolf Hitler if you're Jewish and saying, "nice moustache." You're just asking for it.
• (About making love with her husband) We sang Onward Christian Soldier, Phil, he took me like a virgin at the prison rodeo.
• (to a caller) If you were here right now I'd have to drop you. I dropped that woman at the Homeowner's Association meeting and I'll do the same to you. What's your address?
• Phil, I was standing there in a banana-yellow pantsuit, watching this child dancing around me, laughing like a fool, and I was thinking, are you for real? I felt like I was in a Bergman film about idiot children.
• Phil, her husband is a bit of a loser. (drops her voice) Can I tell you something? Her husband is black. They have a child together, this child has black skin and flaming red hair, like Bozo the Clown. He scares people, he frightens the other children.
• Some women are married to losers. I guess I just got lucky when I met Steve, I just got lucky. I see some of these women with their husbands in the grocery store and I have to laugh. I mean, imagine choosing him over living in a 150-home gated community. I just have to laugh.
• A long time ago, before I really pulled my life together, I was a prostitue; I got involved in a lot of dangerous things. One of them was a nightly Russian Roulette game, and we thought it was fun, we were coked out of our minds, we drank a lot, I was the champ-- for a solid year I played Russian Roulette. Did you ever see Deer Hunter with Christopher Walken? That's what I looked like.
• I walked in the back door and saw Amanda, my daughter, with a piece of chocholate cake and shoving it from the palm of her hand into her mouth, and...and I had been outside raking leaves, and i hit her with the rake and knocked it out of her hand and said "How Dare You?" Thats how much I love her. Thats really how much I love her.

Are you for real? Well honey I'm as real, as real can get.

• If you're on a luxury cruise ship, and a gentleman passenger commits suicide and jumps off the ship - he didn't fall off, he didn't slip, he didn't trip, it wasn't an accident - he purposely jumped off the side of the cruise ship with the sole intention of ending his life by suicide, do you bring the ship to a dead stop, reverse the screws as they like to say - back up that ship and search for that man, even if it means inconveniencing passengers who had their hearts set on the Dutch Antillies?

Steve: I've got the Western Estates police chief in my back packet. I give him a discount on lawn care.
Bobbie: That's right, what do you think you're going to do?
Caller: I'm going to do something about it, I'll tell you...
Bobbie: Cheryl, you think you're so smart in your Ann Taylor real estate uniform and your bad pumps, you know nothing about California...oh she hangs up. What a slut.

Bobbie: You're standing on the tracks waiting for the Super Chief to hit you if you stare at a celebrity.
Caller: Uh, heh-heh, the Super Chief hasn't run in years, so...
Bobbie: Oh? Were you a porter? Were you the one walking around with a bowl of Cream of Wheat?

Bobbie: Now, Marge, you said you were called ‘fatso’ as a kid…
Caller: Oh, yes.
Bobbie: Did they call you ‘Marge the barge’
Caller: Oh, of course
Bobbie: Well, there you go, see? And its funny. And it feels good. You’re just pissed because you have to buy two airline tickets.